Yesterday at this time, I felt completely healthy. Not even a hint of what was to come. Sometime in the late afternoon, I began to sneeze. By evening my nose was running, and by bedtime I had myself diagnosed with acute viral rhinopharyngitis--the common cold. It's inevitable with five kids that there will always be some bug running around between us all. Especially with one of them going to preschool and another one in that dreaded cesspool disguised as a church nursery. Over the last decade-plus, with the kids bringing all of these germs home, I've had MORE than my share of colds, but this time it's different. I get to fight back!! For the majority of the past 13 years I've been either pregnant or nursing, which if you've ever taken the time to read the warnings on ANYTHING, you know that means that I was not allowed to medicate myself, repair a toaster, or read past a 3rd grade level. But now, my body belongs to me and only me. I can drug myself to my heart's content without any amount of guilt. So I did. Right after threatening all of the kids to go to sleep or I'd PUT them to sleep, but just before turning my back on a kitchen that still had dinner dishes on the table and dirty pans on the stove, I downed a pharmaceutical cocktail specifically designed to bring me to that blessed oblivion I so craved. And HALLELUJAH! It worked!! I slept fabulously and woke this morning to a foggy, drug-induced medicine head that was more than worth it. Thank you, Mr. Vick for a good night's sleep!
P.S. I may be able to take all manner of FDA approved goodies now, and enjoy more intellectual reading, but I still can't repair a toaster.
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Out of the Mouths of Babes
Matt to kids: "I'm just being facetious." Corinne: "What's facetious?" Matt: "It means sarcastic." Corinne:"Well then just say 'sarcastic'! Why make it complicated? I mean, that's like, why would you say Czechoslovakia when you could just say Kentucky?!" (7/14/12)
Claire: "Grandpa, I want milk." Grandpa: "How do you spell milk?" Claire: Looks at grandpa for a minute and then says, "You tip it!". I'm sure she was wondering why he wanted to know how you "spill" milk. (7/8/12)
"Mom, when I yawn my eyes get sad." Claire, age 3 (3/14/12)
Paige: "Guess what happened at lunch today?!" Corinne: "Lady Gaga came?" Paige: "No. Better! My chocolate milk tasted like pink milk!!" (3/13/12)
"If we had to leave our house and could only bring 4 things I would bring: food, water, a guy who makes electric things work, and the wii." --Paige, age 8 (3/9/12)
"I really wish I had a different mom. One that's nice." ---Claire, age 3 (9/18/11) OUCH!!
5 y/o friend: "My brother's friend is scared of trees and branches." Spencer: "That's crazy!" Friend: "He thinks there's scary stuff in them." Spencer: "Like what?" Friend: "Porcupines" Spencer: "And mini-dragons?" Friend: "Yeah." (9/13/11)
I am a mother of five, a wife of one, a lover of great books, dark chocolate and good friends. I used to be a nurse, but now I spend my days as a doctor, chauffeur, chef, secretary, referee, tutor.....did I mention I have five kids??