E: Edward

E is for Edward. Yes, that Edward. The one with the smoldering eyes and the chiseled jaw and the wild, sexy hair and best of all, that dazzling, crooked smile. Since I got so serious yesterday for "D" and bragged up my daughters, I thought it only fair that today I let you in on my dirty little secret. I have a wicked crush on a fictional vampire. There, I said it, OUT LOUD. A few years ago I picked up this paperback with an apple on the cover and thought it was a fun story right from the start. But when HE said, "I'm tired of trying to stay away from you." My heart nearly stopped. Little 17 year old Nancy, who had long lay dormant under thousands of loads of laundry, and cases and cases of diapers, and whole trees worth of grocery lists, popped her head out and said, "Oh my."

Now I consider myself somewhat mature and intelligent. I am well aware that the above paragraph falls under embarrassingly pathetic. But here's the thing. I really can't find it in myself to care all that much. We all need our little moments of escape from the drudgery of daily life. Do I mock Matt when he gets up at 4am to hike up a mountain and butcher innocent animals? Yes, yes I do. But my point is: His little escape makes him happy so who am I to judge?

My mother gets me. Probably because she had to expertly guide little 17 year old Nancy through those boy-crazed years way back when. So she recognized the gleam in my eye for what it was. And that is why last year on my birthday, my wonderful mom gave me my very own Edward. Usually, she gives me a book. So the shape of the package had me confused. But when I opened my present and saw my Edward, I was stunned. I looked at the mischievous glint in my mom's eyes and laughed. HARD! Because really if I can't laugh at myself I'm missing out on a great joke! My face went red as I looked around at my loved ones, all looking at me with equal parts confusion and pity. I didn't know if I was more embarrassed at the fact that she had given me Edward or that I was so happy that she did!

It's really quite perfect having Edward around the house. By day, he keeps the Barbies in the dollhouse entertained. And by night he watches over me as I sleep. And sometimes hums lullabies. But that's it, I swear...